Monday, October 15, 2018

God Just Turned My World Upside Down

     Well, I know it's been almost a year since I have posted anything, but...let me explain...I didn't think this would ever happen! Long story short...I have fallen in love with a wonderful, loving and caring man. I had been 'man-free' since my previous divorce over 12 years ago...the thought of a man being in my life at this point had never crossed my mind. I guess it's true when you aren't looking, that's when it happens.

    So go back about 8 months...knowing that my sister and I have been planning to hit the road full time within a year was heavily weighing on my mind. I was so afraid my sister was going to be really upset since this relationship now changes everything for us, especially since my last words to her jokingly were 'now don't go and fall in love'! As I eat my own words, I hear her tell me how excited she is for me and so accepting of it. She is very happy for me and him. She is a wonderful sister. I do not know what she is going to do now as she does not want to RV alone. I feel horrible about leaving her hanging like this and offering to have her come along with us, just isn't the same as the two of us traveling together. Sad to say, but this new man, Tim is not interested in full-time RV'ing, at least not right now. He is younger than me and still working, so maybe by the time he retires I can convince him to do more RV traveling. He does own a travel trailer!

     This relationship developed out of a long-term friendship. Neither one of us would have ever guessed this would have happened. I met Tim and his wife, Joanie 20+ years ago at church and they became instant friends with me and my soon-to-be second husband. Tim and Joanie had two little girls, Lorianne, 7 and Makayla 4 at the time and Sarah was born 3 years later. We were like a big family and the girls all considered themselves 'sisters.' Joanie and I were best friends. I never had any kind of relationship with Tim, other than that he was Joanie's husband. He actually kind of annoyed me sometimes by his attitude. Tim and Joanie were named Sarah's Godparents. My second marriage didn't last and I was divorced by the time Sarah was 5. I have two sons from my first marriage and at that time, my sons were Adam, 21 and Dave, 18.  When Dave joined the Army and was serving in South Korea and Iraq, he made friends with Lorianne via online. When he came home, he asked me what I thought about him taking Lorianne out on a date! Of course, Joanie and I were excited about the idea and the thought of us becoming in-laws and grandparents together...we already had them married off at the first date! 

     As time went by, Lorianne and Dave did get married and had a boy, Wesley who is now almost 3.
Shortly before their wedding, the relationship between Joanie and me started to change, but I couldn't figure out why. I would ask her and she would blow it off and act like we were still the best of friends. As far as I knew, we were best friends, but this tension...wall...whatever it was continued to grow between us and I would continue to ask her, but I had a difficult time trying to explain it, because I didn't know what it was. 

    A year ago, things really started going down hill fast, and the night before new year's day Joanie left a note for Tim telling him she wanted a divorce. He was completely blindsided and most of us were, too. We found out that she had been having an affair for quite some time and that she actually hated me, couldn't stand to be around me, but couldn't give a reason why. I tried to contact her and she ignored all of my texts and phone calls. Later I found out she did the same to most of her friends. 

     When the break up happened, I didn't know what to do. I texted both Joanie and Tim and said I was there for both of them. I didn't want to side with either one and if they wanted to talk, I would listen.  Dave contacted me, because he didn't know what to do. He was so hurt and blindsided himself as he thought they had the marriage he was hoping for Lorianne and himself. He knew his mom had married twice and divorced twice and that Lorianne's parents had been together for 30 years and that was what he wanted. We talked and some things came up that Joanie had told me over the years that Dave said I should probably let Tim know about. So I met Tim at Dave and Lorianne's house to talk about those things. Tim appreciated me sharing those things and I could see how very broken he was.

     Time went by and Tim would text me and ask me questions which then turned into phone calls. He would call and talk for an hour or more! Then he asked if I would be willing to meet him for coffee, so I did and Tim would talk and talk and talk! We would meet for lunch, coffee and just talk and talk and talk. Tim was also counseling during this time, which was good for him. And I also noticed a change that had occurred over the past few months that his attitude had changed a lot. After a month or so, I came home from another long evening of talking and I remember saying out loud, 'oh, God I can't fall in love with Tim"! 

     A day or so later, we both knew we were falling in love with each other and then we wondered how our kids were going to take it. We thought it was weird between us only because we had known each other for so long and that our kids were married to each other, but they aren't blood related. It never crossed our minds to think of each other in this way before and so it was really weird to see this happening to us! We still think it's weird at times.

     However, we are now struggling with Dave and Lorianne over this relationship. They refuse to accept any part of it. They started out saying they were step-siblings and are embarassed for their son, Wesley.  We explained to them that if Tim and I were married to each other when they were younger, then they could be step-siblings, but they were not raised together. Everyone we have talked to so far, does not see anything wrong with our relationship. We are both Wesley's grandparents and I am still Lorianne's mother-in-law, and Tim is still Dave's father-in-law. They will not allow us in their house together and we cannot be at any family functions or gatherings. They are isolating themselves from the family this Christmas already. We are praying for them to put their own selfishness aside and think about family and Wesley.

     I haven't sat down with Lorianne and talked to her about this yet. I know I need to do that. I know that her sister, Makayla is also struggling with the relationship. I never felt like I was more than a family friend to the girls, so I'm not sure how they feel about me. 

     I still watch my full-timer RV'ers on YouTube and FB and still think about full-timing. It's still in my soul and I still want to be on the road. I never expected to fall in love either, so you don't know what God has in store for you!

Thursday, November 16, 2017


     Most of the trees around me have lost all of their leaves and the rain fills most of the days now.  Although, there have been some beautiful sunny days lately; with the background of bright blue sky, the sun shining through the near leaf-less trees and that cool Autumn breeze fills my heart with thoughts of Thanksgiving and thinking about all that I am grateful for.

     First and foremost, Jesus Christ who saved me from the darkness of sin and who has given me eternal life. Then where do I begin? My children, my grandchildren, my health, my friends, my home, the material things that I have...? There is so much in my life to be thankful for. God has blessed me and my family so very much. I have everything I need and then some.

     There isn't a day that goes by that I haven't searched through RVTrader looking at RVs, watching YouTube vlogs of the many full-timers I am subscribed to, or talking to my sister on the phone about our dream. I am looking forward to that day when we purchase our RV!

     With school for Sarah and my commitments to the church and school, I have been very busy this fall. I am trying to cut back from some of my obligations, especially at the church as I almost feel like I live there!  

     Oh yea, we are getting a new pastor in about two weeks. Our previous pastor of 35 years, retired a year ago in December. We had a pulpit committee that worked hard at finding a new pastor for us. He is young, married with a family. We are all excited and looking forward to some, hopefully positive, changes. I haven't met Him, as I was on a family camping trip when he came to visit, but I've heard a lot of positive feedback from others.

     The holidays are nearly upon us, Thanksgiving just next week, Christmas soon after and before I know it, it will be January. And I'll be celebrating a milestone birthday...6-0! It does not 'fit' and I'm not ready yet! Well, the only thing good about time slipping by, means I'm getting closer to launch day!

     Sarah and I have planned Thanksgiving at home with just the two of us! Both of my sons are married and have extended families, so they usually spend Thanksgiving with them. Sarah and I have often joined them, but this year we're staying home.  Sarah wants to cook our favorite Thanksgiving dinner foods, play games and watch a movie! It will be nice to spend some one-on-one time together.

     Happy Thanksgiving everyone and I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!


Saturday, September 16, 2017

No, Not Fall Already!

     There are only 7 days until Autumn begins...I am sad, because I absolutely LOVE summer...sunshine...very warm rain...gentle warm breezes, but now that is all going to change. I don't hate the other seasons, it just feels like summer is so short, it goes by super fast to me. I know, it's still 3 months long...That is why when I am full-time, I can follow summer everywhere - sort of. 

     So my sister and I have not been on the chat room. It seems like we can't even find time to chat just between us, let alone both of us make it to the chat room at the same time.

     Sarah got her driver's license! And I surprised her with a car of her own. Young driver insurance, is crazy, with her discounts for excellent grades, driver's training and safe driver discount, I cannot image if I had to pay full price!!! Her job right now is school or I would have her work part-time to help out. She is a honor student, takes AP college courses and has tons of homework! And she participates in band and choir. She is amazing! She is so grown up now. We were able to watch the Solar Eclipse in totality on her 16th birthday, August 21st! That was so amazing-it was beyond words to me. God is so awesome. 

     My sister, Earline and I went RV window-shopping this summer. She has never been to look at RVs all day long. I have her hooked and we will attend the RV show in Salem, OR next month- October. We had planned to go in September in Portland, but those plans fell through. We found two motorhomes that we really like. #1-2018 Forest River FR3 30ds and #2-2018 Dynamax Isata 4. We love both of the layouts so far. We've heard that looking in Arizona (since we live on the west coast) you can find good deals on RVs. I am not sure if that is really true.

     The desire to Full-Time RV just burns in my soul everyday.  I am very quick to see any kind of RV on the road; I'll mumble to myself, 'Oh, there goes a Class C. I wonder were they are going or if they are full-timers.' My daughter just shakes her head whenever she is with me. I try to 'feed' my desire with YouTube blogs by other full-timers. Some of my favorites are: Keep Your Daydream, Pippi Peterson, Long Long Honeymoon and a few others. I also keep in touch with a few people on Facebook.

     So much for thinking I was going to blog once a month! I don't even know if anyone ever reads my blogs, besides maybe Dee and/or Lorne. Thanks guys!


Thursday, June 15, 2017

Summer is Coming!

Summer will be here next week and school will finally be out for our children in this area. Due to several snow days this past winter, the schools had to go about a week+ longer. And I can hardly wait for summer to begin and fill our days with blue skies and sunshine!

Sarah is taking driver's training this summer. She has class every Saturday through mid-August. I am thankful I was able to afford the training as I believe she will get a lot more information than I would provide and we won't have any parent/teen issues while she is learning to drive! The class provides all of her instruction and testing, so she will receive her driver's license at the end of the training.

Today, it's raining 😒but typical for Oregon, so a good day to stay inside and write another post.  We are expecting warmer weather (upper 80's) beginning this weekend, so I'm super happy about that. I really enjoy the beautiful, warm mornings where I can sit outside on my patio with my cup of coffee and thank the Lord for days such as these.

If anyone reads my posts, they probably think this lady is so wishy-washy! First she is planning to hit the road with her teenage daughter and then that doesn't happen. Health and financial issues become a problem. Then she starts talking about full-time RV'ing again with deciding to pull a small trailer with her older vehicle and later the possibility of traveling with her sister! Yeah, well, you know plans can and do change. It's this deep-seated desire that keeps me going, keeps me dreaming about how I can finally start this amazing adventure of my lifetime. my younger sister is super-excited to go full-time with me and both of us are talking almost daily about our future plans.  I do have some other dreams, bucket-list items like taking a trip to Ireland, possibly traveling to Africa (Cote d'Ivoire) in 2020 to visit with my sponsor child, Marie and visit a day spa for a full, entire day of pampering!

Catching up with the Dream...One plan for me is to get my sister, Earline to come into the chat room and meet all of you wonderful people soon. I think that she will get a better understanding of Full-time RV'ing in general and learn a lot. I know that all of you have been so helpful to me as I have journeyed over the past few years of struggling to put this dream in gear.

We have looked (online) at different classes and models of RVs and we are planning to take a trip to actually walk thru RVs soon. We live 4 hours apart, so we plan to meet at a central point this summer and we will attend (her first) RV Show in the fall (September). I have been to several RV shows and have looked at many different classes and models, but Earline has not. I often have to drag her back to reality when she starts drooling over the Berkshires and Monaco coaches!

I pray you all are well and daily fulfilling your own RV dreams.


Wednesday, May 17, 2017

That Ember is Hot!

Last post I mentioned that the desire to rv was a glowing ember in my soul...well, it's a little hotter now! I've been online researching mini travel trailers lately as I am hoping I can pull a tiny trailer with my car. I have to figure out all of the gross weights, vehicle pulling weight, hitch, trailer, etc. because I want to be safe and not ruin my car's tranmission or any other parts, but I would like to at least take weekend camping trips and NOT in a tent!
Image result for 12 foot travel trailerImage result for 12 foot travel trailer

At least until Sarah graduates from High school and moves out, then I will be able to decide what I want to do at that point.

My younger sister and I have talked about rv'ing together. We haven't been in a day-to-day living situation for over 40 years, so I'm sure we both have 'set in our ways' some. I spoke with her about maybe renting an rv and spending a week together and if I didn't kill her or she didn't kill me, then maybe it might work out!  She also has some health issues which warmer weather would greatly benefit, myself included. I guess if it was something both of us really wanted to do, we would make it work.

On August 21, 2017, my daughter will turn 16 and we will be watching the total solar eclipse!  We waited too late to get a campground site, so we are going to drive up to my son's place (45 minutes away) and then hike up to get a even better view.  Every campground and open space in the path of the eclipse in Oregon is FULL! There is even a place in central Oregon that is having an Eclipse Festival and charging $1500 for a 4-person pre-set up tent site! A couple of sites have come available as I am on a wait list, just in case, but one was a group site (bigger than our group) and the other was a horse camp site and you had to have at least one domestic horse or pack animal. We thought we could throw a pack on one of the Boxers (dogs), but the camp host probably won't go for that!

So I dropped in the Chat Room last week and I'm going to do it again tonight! I stopped visiting when things got really busy for me after I realized I wouldn't be able to full-time for a few years. Things are still real busy for me, but I am also burning with the rv'ing desire again! I also want to blog more often - just because.

I had a wonderful Mother's Day and I hope all the mothers out there did also. My youngest son had to work, the oldest son was with his wife and her family, so my daughter took me out to Outback for lunch, then we went and painted pottery (it will be ready to pick up next week!) and then we went to a movie! We saw 'Gifted' which we both liked very much, except for the rude women that were sitting next to us! They talked all through the movie, rattled stuff in their purses, answered their ringing cell phones - YES! and gave a play by play of the movie loud enough for us to hear! We had reserved loungers and the theater was full or we would have moved. We should have reported them.


Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Bam! And now it's Spring...

...and just like that February, March and nearly April are gone! I blame it on getting older. I remember my mom always said, 'The older you get, the faster time seems to go.' Isn't that the truth?! There are things about growing older that I don't mind, like not worrying about things as much or at all like you used to and shaking your head at the younger generation - who know it all! Well, I did too. And being an older mom, I hear 'you're old' often from my teenage daughter. You'd think I was in my late 90's the way she talks!

I was surprised to find that my last post was in January! Well, I guess it's time to write again. 
Just so you all know, I still have stuff and in fact, I have even MORE stuff now!

I think I dream more about Rv'ing when this time of the year comes along and I see more and more RVs on the road. I look at them as I drive by, fifth-wheel being towed by a big ol' dually, motorhome with a couple of bikes strapped to the back, the shiny Class A streaming down the highway...I wonder where they are going, who they are, if they are full-timers. It all makes me hunger for my dream even more. I know there is a reason why I have an RV'ing ember glowing in my soul and I believe that God put it there. It is pretty incredible how He works things out. We, impatient eager beavers tend to run off in every direction, thinking we know best and it all has to happen right now. There's nothing wrong with dreaming and yearning as long as it is a positive thing and you don't get so caught up in the dream that you don't know reality anymore.

So, the desire or longing to full-time RV grew over many years with a hope that after retirement it would happen. Long story short, but after a life time of sexual and emotional abuse, two failed marriages, and taking the reins of my own will, I left God in the dust. I was going to take charge of my life now and I would make things happen, but things didn't go my way. That's when ten years prior to my retirement, God stopped me right in my tracks and took over. If you have followed my blogs, then you know what happened after this. Most importantly,  I have learned to wait on the Lord. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." 
Jeremiah 29:11

I don't remember how I connected with the RV chat room, but I was one step closer to catching that dream. Chatting online with 'real RV'ers' who were feeding my desire to RV and I even met a couple while they were traveling through Oregon - Dee & Jim Walter. For that very brief time online, I met some wonderful, caring and helpful people and I knew that I wanted to be with friends like this.

I don't go on the chatline any more as my life is really busy now. I do sort of keep in touch with a few of the group through Facebook and blogs. They are all good people.

I decided that I would like to do a little more blogging than just every quarter! So we will see how that goes. Until then, take care and blessings to you all.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Too Much To Do...Too Much Stuff

I often feel like my life is so full of things I have or need to do, let alone the things I WANT to do, that I am so overwhelmed I don't want to do anything! When I am having a good day physically, it seems like I have way too many other things to do than what I WANT to do. Other days I wish I could clone myself so the clone could do all of the have-to do stuff and I could enjoy doing the want-to do stuff. Then there are days that I don't feel like doing anything, because I don't know where to start or I just feel too consumed by it all that I spend the entire day doing something that wasn't even on my To-Do list!

Recently I found the idea of becoming a minimalist very intriguing and it really does make sense to me. I recently began tossing clothing out that I haven't worn in years, most of which are 'skinny clothes', but now I have to get my minimalist wardrobe!  Oh, and those tiny houses are very appealing because there's no room for stuff. Sometimes I feel suffocated by all of my stuff. Don't get me wrong, I am not a hoarder by any means and I usually keep my home in good order - clean and organized. Then I think about how claustrophobic I am and wonder if I really could live in a tiny house with no stuff. Would I be able to live in an RV full-time with minimal stuff?

My stuff - I have 'things for the yard sale' stuff in the attic which has multiplied over the years while waiting for me to have that yard sale this summer, well maybe next summer...And office stuff, keepsake stuff, grandchildren's toy stuff, household stuff, scrapbooking stuff...the list keeps growing, just like my stuff! And the ironic thing about all of this stuff, is I really don't like stuff being around. So I hide all my stuff, in the attic, in cabinets, drawers, closets, totes and under the bed. Not to mention the stuff I still want to get! 

There's only one group of stuff that I do like and that is my scrapbooking stuff.  I still scrapbook on good days or I'll make a greeting card for someone occasionally, but I would like to have on-going projects to work on several days a week. Scrapbooking is relaxing and it is something that I enjoy doing. Creating fun and beautiful pages of memories and hopefully something my great-great grandchildren will enjoy and not think it's 'just grandmother's stuff' and toss it out!

Today I sit here writing about all of the things I need and want to do, while thinking about all of my stuff that I want to get rid of, so I can get more stuff. I hope that no one is trying to psychoanalyze me as I do that to myself enough! 

Speaking of which, I started out this morning trying to interpret the meaning of a reoccurring dream of mine, but everything I search is too vague. I know there is underlying meaning to the dream and I don't want to have to deal with that right now! It probably means I have too much stuff and too many things to do that its invading my sub-conscious. 

Although I believe dreams are helpful in resolving underlying issues and I also believe that God speaks to us through our dreams and that we can receive answers to what we are feeling or dealing with at the time. Several months after my mother passed away, I had this deep concern wondering if her soul was at peace and if she knew I was thinking about her. Soon after that, I had a very vivid dream where my mother came to me and she was glowing with happiness and joy. She was not the way I remembered her; in pain, unable to speak due to a stroke and such sadness in her eyes. In the dream, she came right up to me, gave me a kiss, hugged me close and told me she loved me. I 'felt' her closeness as if it were physically real. I woke up with such a peaceful feeling and reassurance of knowing my mom was also at peace. Those types of dreams don't happen very often, but they are so wonderful. 

So my birthday is near and my sister sent me a package which I need to go pick up from the post office....oh, good, more stuff!

Have a blessed day